


The Soothsayer

by 7Threes



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: CCRVS (Commission of Counter Rogue Vedafae and Soothsayers), Hide is extremely analytical, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Modern AU, PTSD, Psychedelic Rock Influences, Tremulant, Vedafae, Vedamalady, mentions of God - Freeform, no ghouls, soothsayer - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2018-11-28 21:17:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11426352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7Threes/pseuds/7Threes
Summary: Hideyoshi was always gifted in reading people's eyes, their thoughts behind it. He could tell griefs and sorrows to excitement, but he never took it upon himself much to display his habits of picking things up; that was until he entered college and started making friends that he would be concerned about.One day, he was telling his friend about how he looked sick by the slight of pale skin and next people were swarming him asking about their future.Hide wanted no part in any of it, until he saw a man with white hair.





	1. Goliath and His Bedlam

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as an idea from listening to Soothsayer by The Mars Volta, which is very odd and most likely won't match up with the story all that much.

Hideyoshi was always gifted in reading people's eyes, their thoughts behind it. He could tell griefs and sorrows to excitement, but he never took it upon himself much to display his habits of picking things up; that was until he entered college and started making friends that he would be concerned about.

Today, for one, his friend had seemed a bit pale and tired, nothing too serious. He knew he really shouldn't have said anything but nonetheless he couldn't change the past.

"Hey, you look a bit ill."

Hide commented.

"You may want to drink some water instead of just coffee."

"I'm fine."

His friend said.

The next day, he found out he had the flu. Following with came people who insisted on getting their fortunes and whatnot bullshit that was ridiculous. He knew that, he told them, and they wouldn't hear. People tended not to listen when it was about them being wrong.

"What will my grades be like?"

"I don't know."

"Will I have a boyfriend ever?"

"I don't know."

"Will-"

"I don't know."

It may have seemed a bit cold but he really didn't. He couldn't predict the future, but if he knew someone well enough he may be able to predict their decisions.

It's just that now, well... he wanted to be left in the quiet sometimes.

Then he saw _him_.

White hair, pale skin, grey eyes; skinnier and shorter than himself. He stuck out like a sore thumb, there was no way he was a student at Kamii University, Hide had never seen him before!

But he did go to Kamii, and he was reading a book very intently by himself.

Hide stood and pushed through the crowd of people to sit beside the stranger, turning to him with a bright smile as much as he could muster.

"Hel-lo! My name is Hideyoshi, but you can just call me Hide!"

He practically beamed.

"Hello."

The stranger muttered into his book.

"What's your name?"

Hide plastered a look of intrest on his face as he stared at the profile of the stranger's face.

"Ken Kaneki. Please just call me Kaneki."

The stranger, Kaneki, replied.

"Are you new here?"

Hide asked.

"No. I've just missed... a lot."

Kaneki replied, hesitant to spill.

Hide understood the type Kaneki was. In a sort of shell, unwilling to come out until they grow out of it. To grow he must learn that he can live without it. And honestly, Hide could be patient, but he knew he would have to start with...

"I understand how sometimes lots of people can tire one out. Don't worry, you don't have to talk to lots of people. On the other hand, I'd really like to be friends with you so at least you aren't always alone."

Hide offered.

Kaneki finally looked up from his book and into Hide's eyes.

His face read...


	2. Metamorphosis|Die Verwandlung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gregor Samsa awoke from troubled dreams to find himself a horrible vermin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep in mind I write the chapters on ArchiveOfOurOwn's page unlike how I usually do so it might be a bit short with autocorrect.

> **-Kaneki-**

It was odd, asking for me to be friends with... _him_. He seems like a normie, someone who wouldn't talk to me. Yet, Hide was before me, asking me to be friends with him in front of a bunch of cute fangirls. What the hell is going on?

"Why?"

Hide must want something out of me, they always do, then they leave and never come back. Really, I just wanted to be alone so I wouldn't get hurt like that ever again.

> **-Hide-**

His face read... Woah.

Was it just me, or are his gray eyes full of the rainbow? It's like a mirror... In addition, he was so pale, almost like a vampire.

And last but not least, his eyes were heavy full of sadness. Kaneki may have seemed like he wanted to be alone, but there's nothing more that he'd loathe.

"Why?"

Kaneki asked me.

"Why? What do you mean _why_?"

I was puzzled, truthfully confused.

"Don't play _dumb_."

Kaneki's brows furrowed in slight frustration.

"Everyone who talks to me is always after something, isn't that it?"

I was beyond confusion at this point until I read his face, which was not a frustration built by me, but by something that happened.

"You... Someone has hurt you..."

I spoke in my realization.

"No- What? What do you know, you aren't some sort of... _Soothsayer_! Leave me alone!"

Kaneki hissed to me, closing his eyes as if he was trying to hide his secrets behind them. Of course, it was to no avail. I already knew I hit the jackpot, and really I didn't want Kaneki to be troubled. I wanted to see him smile, not too sure why I did, but I just did.

"You don't want to talk about it, that's fine."

I shrugged.

What Kaneki did next was a little weird to me. He cornered himself at the end of the table and towards the wall, _away from me_ , and hunched over, almost like prey ready to defend itself.

"Go away."

Kaneki was frank with me.

"Why would I do that?"

I asked.

"Because if you didn't, I'll- I'll... I will..."

Kaneki stumbled on his words to me, which was odd because he always seemed so formal.

"You'll do what?"

I ask.

Kaneki takes his thumb behind his index finger, cracking his knuckle very loudly.

> **-Kaneki-**

I try to threaten, but my throat fails me. I can't bring myself to say it, not in here, and not to him.

Ashamed of myself, I curl into myself and crack a knuckle unconsciously. Damn it, I wish I hadn't inherited that horrible habit from that... _thing_.

I can't admit that the _thing_ that did this to me was human, let alone sentient. It was a monster, a spawn of horror. I wish I didn't remember.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, it's all my fault..."

I mumbled unaware of it, the words flooding out, vision blurry with whatever stained my vision, breathing ridged.

 _No, not here. Please not here_.

"Hey, Kaneki. Calm down, if you want to talk about it-"

"No, not to you. _Never_ to you."

For a second, Hide turned into Rize, the other one who I loathed. She tricked me with words covered in honey, I was a fool, naïve, and then I was a mess.

I stood up quickly, pushing past Hide to outside the room, where I went to throw up.

Long legs stride behind me, slowly, agonizingly so. And when I finish releasing what I ate into the bin I leaned over, he finally speaks.

"Hey, Kaneki."

 


	3. Hands Tied To The Roots of a Hemorrhage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> |Intermission| Explaination 1:  
> The Soothsayer

What is future? What is past?

The possibility of future is nothing without a present, and a present is unknown without a past. Whatever route we are taking, a Soothsayer sees the possibilities all instantaneously. Whatever future will come is theirs to change, theirs to see fit. This is one error, or perhaps intention of an entity higher than us.

That entity is formless; ephemeral. That entity's nature is unknown: nameless.

We gave it the aliases of God, Allah, Yahweh, Ürtas, Kval, etc.

The most true must be Kval, described to be an utter darkness.

God is no 'he', nor are they 'she', the entity simply stands for 'is, and always'. In other words, it is 'aye'. When this faceless entity learned of all possibilities, It became God. It, of course, is formless. It, without coherent shape, created life to store that information that It thought It only could decode.

It foresaw the creation of humanity as a possibility, and once It saw the route life began to take, all of It's will to keep the future impossible to decrypt became increasingly difficult.

It had wanted bliss upon life, It wanted to be the strongest entity.

Humans began to crack the code, but It kept rapidly changing it, changing it until this so-called Early Soothsaying came to be known as the feeling of the Mondella Effect, Deja Vu, hunches, prediction; this Soothsaying became part of humanity's everyday lives, unbeknownst to them that those feelings once could speak to them of the future.

Of course, there were those who began to utilize these feelings better than most. Sneaking suspicions, calculating human behavior, things Sun Tzu took advantage of to prevent conflict against those he served.

Sun Tzu knew not that he was a lower ranked Soothsayer.

As time grew greater, as people grew smarter, as technology grew better, things began to spur out of control.

It disliked being challenged by those who could interpret It's information, but the Soothsayers kept getting wiser to their ability to decode.

Eventually, It granted the cognizant Soothsayers with ailments and maladies to shorten their insight of the future.

The few surviving Soothsayers swore to never utilize their ability to decide what It left within them, and continued with their lives until their secret passed to their offspring, who unknowingly used it once again.


	4. A Story Teeth Rotted For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hey, Kaneki."

> **Kaneki**

This voice belonged to Nishio. Nishio Nishiki, an older friend of mine.

"What do you want _now_?"

I could care less right now. I just needed to get away from that kid- _Hideyoshi_ \- right _now_.

I hear him shift.

"I saw you were talking to Hide, right? Why did he freak you out?"

Nishiki questions me. He always loves to pry; is that what people like him do?

Well, I suppose I'm with his people now.

"I... The air around him... It's not safe."

I stutter.

 I really don't want to talk about it with Nishio, nor in front of this college I've been absent from because of... that monster.

_**Flashback** _

_My heart is moving too fast. I feel like it's going to fall out of my chest cavity and into fire. It burns, everything burns._

_"This sedative is called succinylcholine, well... not as much as a sedative as a muscle relaxant. They say if you overdose on this stuff, your involuntary muscles start to fail. Well, I can't just take people for their word. I'm going to find out... and so are you."_

_The voice pries at the cage surrounding my brain; my ears inflamed by every instinct to run. I struggle against the restraints, but that monster grabs me and holds on tight, injecting the clear liquid into my bloodstream._

_I dread because at first, I am unable to move even my mouth and eyes, and I try desperately to look around and see what that monster is doing, but then I realize that my lungs have stopped working. It's mortifying, because I can't feel anything but numb anymore, even as he cuts off another piece of my earlobe, cuts off my little toe, cuts off the nails on my toes._

_'I should be screaming in agony' I think. The most terrifying part of this is that I can't feel a thing. This numbness is hell._

_"Interesting! Truly interesting!"_

_It speaks in vile grimace._

_"You aren't even flinching! But, now I'm bored. Truly, I would've expected more of a reaction."_

_Then it touches me, holds up my chin up and presses it's mouth to mine, and exhales air into my lung. Truly, I am being violated._

_"I didn't ask for a doll."_

_It says._

_It grabs me by my shoulders and jolts me around, prying for a reaction; anything. I can't move._

_I feel as if I'm already dead._

_"Wake up! Wake up! Open your eyes! Open them so I can gouge them! Open them so I can put acid in them! Open them so I can see agony!"_

_I can't see any hope out of this situation._

_I only wish I could die here._

_I already know that it's painless._

> **_End Flashback_ **

I hadn't realized I threw up again, just the mere thought of something of that nature coming into my life once again was enough to make me wish for death, so I pry it out of my thoughts.

"What did Hide do to disturb you so much?"

Nishio asks me.

 I am scared, and I am scared not because of Hide, but because I don't know why I am scared.

**Hide**

I felt like I've just been dissed when Kaneki ups and runs away to throw up; twice.

Geez, am I _that_ ugly?

 I see him talking with Nishio, or at least Nishio talking with Kaneki. I don't know what's got into Kaneki, but it's like he's seen a ghost; most likely his own.

The guy looks like he's survived the holocaust, because I can tell just from looking at him from behind he's been robbed of sleep, parts of his ears have been cut off, even a bit of his neck was cut up.

Overall, Kaneki was a walking corpse.

At first glance I thought he might've been at rehab and relapsed because he looks like a meth addict, like he hasn't gotten a good kick out of life in ages and needs more hits just to feel good.

Then I realize, that perhaps this is a product of PTSD. Considering his condition, I think he might have been subjected to torture.

Why, to this beautiful man?

If I get a good look at his arms, I might find bruises and pockmarks, abrasions and cysts, callouses, puss, spots where needles were injected.

My father works at a hospital, he knows a thing or two about ways to sedate people, what drugs might've leaked out most recently.

As I hide behind some cover eavesdropping on the conversation (mostly one-sided) Kaneki finally says something.

"It's _so_ hard to forget, Nishio-senpai. I want to, I wish I could."

Forget what?

"I know it's hard to forget the torture with that man-"

" _Monster_. That _monster_."

"-but I don't think you should associate just anyone with hi- it."

A pause.

"It's so hard not to. You remember that whole thing with Rize, how she lied. Now how can I forget-"

"Have you been seeing your therapist?"

A sigh.

"...No."

"You know she could help with this. Let your guard down a little, not everyone is a terrible person."

I peek around the corner to see Kaneki curled into a ball, Nishio standing over him with a grin expression on his face, hands stuffed in his pocket.

"The last time I did that, I lost some toes. Nishio-senpai, I appreciate your concern, but I really just need time to... readjust."

"That starts when you start seeing your therapist."

"I don't have a therapist. That's why I've been avoiding this; avoiding you."

"Kaneki-"

"I don't need a therapist."

"Yes, you do!"

"No, Nishio-senpai. I already know what I need to do."

"And what is that?"

Silence- it's deafening. It leaves me on edge.

 

 

Then, Kaneki says:

 

 

"I think I may just kill myself."


	5. Televators | House of Split Lips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The house half the way  
> Fell empty with teeth  
> That split both his lips  
> Mark these words  
> One day this chalk outline will circle this city  
> Was he robbed of the asphalt that cushioned his face  
> A room colored charlatan  
> Hid in a safe  
> Stalk the ground  
> Stalk the ground

**Kaneki**

My thought process felt flawless, you know. If I died, I wouldn't be burdened with these constant tormenting memories; or the guilt of surviving that hellhole while the others all died. _It_ saw me as an object; a toy to play with to its dreadful heart's content. The agony in my extremities still remains, I'll tell you.

And don't think for a second that I haven't noticed the presence of that...  _anomaly_ (tfw ur crush calls you weird (//∇//)). I noticed him the minute he stepped outside, his atmosphere is so overwhelming I don't know if I can even breathe; but I do anyway, because a small part of me would wonder what would come of the world while I would be experiencing the  _wonders_ of _rigor mortis_ and the life of not being.

I dread the thought that the day may come, but also dread it's delay, as both would end with the same questions:

 

"Am I myself?"

"Did I succeed?"

"Was I happy?"

 

Two out of three of those would more than likely be ' _no_ ' (you guess which ones), and I don't know what to really do than die to prevent any future tragedies or guilt. I know deep down it won't fix anything, but I can't feel much motive to continue hiding from the truth and this whole religious banter of what the fuck can be trusted and who's a demon or whatever.

 

"Kaneki, I can't talk you down from much, or anything at all... but if you really thing killing yourself will solve all your problems, you're a bigger idiot than I thought. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

 

Nishio tells me, and I know he's right.

I know, yet I can't back down from my word. I'm stubborn, a real idiot. I always feel obligated to be the martyr, I know this, but I always fall back into it. I'm no better than my mother.

Overall, I don't think I want to live until the end of the week. I don't want to see life pass before my eyes for it just to end, so I'd rather not have a life.

 

"I don't expect you to understand, Nishio-senpai; I don't exactly like the idea of this tarot symbolism or heavenly wars, I was just fine without all of this."

 

I lied before continuing.

 

"What I am now will only bring me more problems in the future, bring _you_ more problems in the future. I never wanted this, and for the CCRVS to be coming to Anteiku... do you think I _wouldn't_ want to die before they brutally do so?"

 

So many lies flew out my mouth as I scratched my chin.

 

**Hide**

The conversation grew more quiet, but I could tell Kaneki was hiding something by his closed stance and the way he rubbed his chin.

After a pause in the conversation (as for what I could tell), Kaneki shoots a glance over to where I'm hiding, completely blowing my cover. I cringe as I hear Nishio's voice call out to me.

 

"Hey, shithead! Get out here, you fucking suck ass at hiding."

 

Kaneki turned his sharp eyes to Nishio, probably making an internal comment about Nishio's choice of words. Something like:

 

"The amount of verbs in that sentence is rather confusing, Nishio-senpai."

 

Wait. Kaneki _was_ saying that.

I peer from behind where I'm hiding further and take a very, _very_ , slow step out. I know I'm about to get an earful from Nishio, or at least anticipate it when Kaneki mutters something I can't make out to Nishio, who groans and loudly barks to Kaneki.

 

"Yes, this will fucking work. Stop being some sort of goddamn edgelord and make some fucking friends."

 

Kaneki and I both cringe at Nishio's profuse usage of swear words.

Then, Kaneki looks over into my direction with his eyes like refractors, or glass panes; some poetic stuff that I really can't give less of a damn about.

I feel a bit intimidated to approach him. Nishio sees this and scoffs before ditching whatever the hell this was to probably sext his girlfriend or whatever.

Kaneki still seems so tense, and it hits me that we're both really awkward around each other because I mean... who wouldn't be weirded out by a guy you just met eavesdropping on a conversation about suicide?

 

"Hey, if you don't feel comfortable talking, it's fine."

 

I tried to comfort him, but Kaneki seems distrusting.

 

"I... Nishio's right. I guess you heard everything, didn't you?"

 

He responds to me, sad look in his eyes.

 

It always feels sad.

 

"Yeah, I did. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, though."

 

I continued to comfort him, but really the curiosity is eating at me from the bottom of my stomach. I just need to chill; don't want him throwing up again. He's emaciated as is.

 

"Well, I haven't been able to vent very much, I can't afford to see a therapist and whatever."

 

Kaneki mumbled as he responded.

 

**Kaneki**

 

I could feel the curiosity dripping from his voice, but it was a nice gesture to say he wouldn't ask if I wasn't ready to tell him. I guess... I was wrong about him for the most part.

I am wrong with...

... _most_ things...

I hate to admit that about myself. I don't know what causes my self-deprecating thoughts, they just surface and bubble; maybe having something to do with the Dunning-Krueger Effect.

Because I know Hide wants to know some answers, I'll give him something small. It's still painful to talk about, but Nishio says I should oppress the urge to voice the memories; so I decide to tell him about how I got all of the abrasions on my skin.

About the torture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, I have this fanfiction on Wattpad if you want to check out the songs that go with the chapter titles and other stuff, although chapters come out first here.  
> My Wattpad is the same even, find me;  
> I'm Diivizkrah.
> 
> In other news, Televators is a song about a man who committed suicide to return to the ESP (check out Deloused in the Comatorium for details) which describes the man jumping from a bridge. The lyrics like "the house half the way; fell empty with teeth; that split both his lips; mark these works; one day this chalk outline will circle this city; was he robbed of the asphalt that cushioned his face?" where the first 3 lines describes how his face looks after the jump (split and cracked open), the next two refer to how his death not only extends to himself, but to those around him; overall to the city. The next line is the question "was he robbed of the asphalt that cushioned his face?" which asks if the man felt the pain of the impact, or did he die before he was able to; things people ask about suicide often.
> 
> Just so you know, of you feel suicidal; you should call someone, ask for help, talk it out.
> 
>  
> 
> Btw, using HTML tags is absolutely tedious.


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